a reality so subtle that it becomes more real than reality

I took an apartment near the state university, where I discovered both crystal methamphetamine and conceptual art.

I learned yesterday at work that all the Life Saver Training that I go through ever single year (for five years now) won't help me save someone drowning. Please, don't ask me to help you if you drown becuase I'll probably take your temp and and try to expell a meatball lodge in your throat.

-All Roads Lead Back to Tucson- Tonight I'll be at The Gypsy Tea Room to see Roger Clyne and The Peacemakers nee The Refeshments. I'm really excited, I had to miss the last show (I still feel bad Carina) so this one I've definately got to make up for it. Plus they have a new EP out.....I just checked the website. ONLY available Itunes. Damn it all.


-Pop music is about saying "fuck me". Rock and roll is about saying "fuck you- Another show at J&J's on Saturday. Velma Loves Daphne. Maaster Gaiden. The Pebble That Saved The World. Druids On Parade. A bunch of Dallas bands. It should be fun, but we're not playing any more shows until the tour. Brian, Jacob and I recorded the first two songs for Wizards vs. Dragons last night. Look for a show soon.

They took my mother’s stomach out about six months ago.

I just got back from Bowie. Don't bother looking it up, it's a horrible little place full of potholes and burned out houses. I imagine that's what people who reside in other states think of when they think of Texas. Just a bunch of meth labs and horses.

My mom called me today and informed me that one of my friends had drowned in the resevoir back home this morning. Seth's Company was called out with a team of divers to look for the body. I don't know when the funeral services are going to be. Seth has stayed home the rest of the day and isn't taking any phone calls. Not even mine. Dereck called me not too long after I hung up with my mom. He was pretty upset as well. He was worried about Seth (which is very odd) and plans on driving up there tonight. I wish I could do the same. Seth is young, too young to really be seeing stuff like that.
But then I think.
I was just a little bit older whenever I had to face something like that. They can give you all the leave they have available, try to sign you up with counselors and preachers and other people but it doesn't make any sense. They weren't there. I think it's best to let Seth just work it out and figure things out on his own.

The original darkness was still there in the stories, and it was still very dark indeed.

The weekend has been long. Work was good, nay, great and I got some sleep in.

Secret Headquarters Not So Secretive- There were quite a lot of people at the show, which is alway surprising. Jacob's voice is pretty much gone, it's all the Scientist's Blood (a concotion of alcohol, energy drink and fruit punch that Camella always makes for us) and too many unfiltered cigarettes. There was much merriment and mirth to be had by all.

Go Away!- Greg and Tina's going away party fell a little flat. Set to a background of traditional Irish music Jane and I sauntered inside and out, trying to find our place amongst so many familar faces. Needless to say we left early. Mike D now resembles someone that I could totally see living in Florida.

Of Mythology and Men of Tomorrow- My parents are having a grand garage sale coming up soon, and that means that much of my life pre-Denton is either to be trashed or sold. Since I'm not there to intervene, my parents judgement presides. The only thing I really wanted to keep was my comic books (boxes and boxes) and my Norse mythology books. All of fifth and sixth grade I was enamored with the destructive gods and drunk vikings. Hopefully these treasures will be back with me soon.

Work work and work. I need more time to do things. The curse of adulthood and responsibilities.

"To take upon us the mystery of things"—what King Lear so wistfully says for himself and for Cordelia.

I don't have much to say.
Here:

- Learned that a co-worker, Jeff in the Cafe, has written a rather lengthy and extensive Sci-fi novel and is having it published soon. I sort of drowned in my own self pity there during our hour together at lunch. Oh yeah, he's 18, fresh out of High School. I asked him where he found the time to write it: "I don't know. I can't sleep sometimes, and I thought it'd be cool to write a novel." Congrats Jeff for the reality check.

- Camella is sick. She's getting better but for some reason it bothers me when she's sick. I wish I could bring her soup or something, but I have built a reputation of being the guy to not bring soup, so the idea is moot.

-Someone in Philadelphia is angry with me, and I don't care.

- The show with The Tah-Dah's is coming up quick (tomorrow). Come if you read this. This means you all from Arlington to Dallas. You get to see the full band, all five of us now. Brian and I joke about having some gospel back up singers, but under the joking facade I did a mental check to see if I knew any gospel singers. I've got plans, baby.

I hope the weekend finds you well. And those afternoons you spend flipping through cable channels you should be thinking of something else. Go solve a problem or something.

It’s a choice between sleep and breakfast, and I go with sleep.

A very sinister day. All day I've had those dark rain clouds that you see in cartoons following me around.
"You sound like Eyeore today."- Chrissy (as told through a mouthful of bagel.)

I got a message from my parents asking me when I'm going to get my life together, just a random call that leads me to doom. I guess my life isn't together for them enough. All day I'm walking around until lunch hits, and as I sit in the breakroom eating my daily sandwich (from home) David Byrne a la The Talking Heads comes over the radio- I guess it's healthy, I guess the air is clean./I guess those people have fun with their neighbors and friends/Look at that kitchen and all of that food/Look at them eat it' guess it tastes real good.
I never have ever wanted to buy tiles for a kitchen. I've never wondered if I should buy a brass knocker or a silver one for my front door. I've never thought about actually owning and maintaing a working lawn mower. These things that my dad, my brothers, my mother, everyone I ever grew up with worry about on a daily basis, and I can't connect to any of it. I don't think I'm totally cut out to be that type of person, someone that has a mortgage. My brother wants to have children. He sent me an e-mail last week asking about parenting books at Borders for his lady fair (I actually have forgotten her name.....). I just think in my mind that I'll carry them to the register and buy them and get suspicious glances from people wondering what kind of father I would be. I don't want to deal with that.

In lighter news.....The Pebble That Saved The World/ The Tah-Dah's show is coming up this Saturday at SHQ in Denton TX. We're playing with a full band now, I hope it sounds well. Well enough so I can quit my dayjob and live on the coast and try pilates and Scientology, and yell at PA's about my panini not being grilled enough.

XBI UVZ IHM VZUWCKF RBCO RCRAZ DHQ?

I"m sitting in the industrious bustling heart and soul of Irving right now, right off of McArthur Blvd. By "industrious" and "bustling" of course I mean drive thrus by the mile and enough brown zarfs to house all the homeless in Downtown Dallas. I started the day with my parents at Baylor Medical so my Dad can go through yet another harrowing back surgery. It's his sixth in three years. Two a year so far. Next time my Mom's not even coming, she's going to put him on a plane and send him my way. Work was a bunch of "first you box it, then you ship it, smartass" with a few perks in the day. We all played a game where when the customer would buy a book we'd recommend something completely unrelated to see if they would buy it just going on our word. I'd say at least 40% of the time it worked. I suggested David Sedaris as summer reading for at least two young girls, and helped a rather obese man wearing a ballcap that said, "You Want It, You Got It!" with an armload of self motivation books. I guess you can jumpstart your life at any time, and ballcap picked today. He left the store with the armload plus a Feng Shui for Dummies that Holly suggested (In order for him to get fenf shui-d).
Other than that there's not too much going on. Everyone is gearing up for the Mav's game tonight, but I'm just going to forget about it. I have Mav fever but only a mild case.

आपनॊ गूरॊ गूरॊ,दोसरा के गूरॊ समाठॊ लॆ कॆ हूरॊ

With this invitation of a new job into my life, it also brings tiredness, irratability, lack of conscious thought, loss of appetite,a general malaise. That all sounds like something on the back of a some stomach ache medication that you find at CVS.

I finished J-Pod on Saturday. What a great book to end on a Saturday afternoon. I really enjoyed it although fans across the internet from rec.arts.books.reviews to microserfs are complaining. I wonder if when the reviews came in for Nabakov's Look at the Harlequins! came in people were saying he was over and spent?

I also read Nic Kelman's first novel, Girls. I thought the etymology of cunt and filling it with quotes from The Illiad and The Odyssey was interesting. He changed voices throughout the book, but the main stream of thought that flowed through the entire thing was the validation of men in power, how they can't see themselves in a position of power until someone else recognizes it. The thing is that the validation is through young girls. These men can't see themselves as what they've become unless some young hot thing recognizes. I guess it can be seen as the ultimate form of validation. It makes me wonder if this is also how Kelman feels, if this is his form of validation. I felt a little lukewarm about it, I don't know if I fully believe that every man in a position of power is like that. It's the same as Hostel, the I'm-so-powerful-and-I've-done-everything-exciting-except-for-holding-someones-life-in-my-hands
kind of idea.

Next week I'm going to start reading Max Barry's Company. I've read what a Canadian thinks about the American workplace, now I want a Australian's view on things.