Saturday, December 20, 2008

您知道I' 总是ll爱您





Although I do appreciate the snow, I don't think I'll ever like it. I don't think I'll ever accept it as a possible effect on my life. Not yet at least.
I've always had a soft spot in my heart for snow though. Watching it fall from my apartment window sends a chill through me, not a cold chill, but this chill of normality. This is a normal, plausible thing in life. This is weather. This is something that we know.
Do the oceans get jealous of rain and snow because these things fall on us? The way we're affected by these things we just accept as a precursor to our life. Does the ocean even acknowledge the presence of snow and rain?

Do I acknowledge the presence of the ocean as something that impacts my life as much as snow and rain?

Since I've been on this forced vacation (a labor of love, significantly) I've spent a lot of time just rehashing things. Let me get the record straight: Sometimes it's hard to look myself in the mirror. Not that I don't see myself, it's just hard to look at myself from that perspective at times. I think about the trouble I've caused, the things I've broken that I want to somehow magically unbreak, the things I want to fight for and seem to be doing a horrible job. I see someone that's been rescued and I've seen someone that's done a lot of rescuing. Someone that has no absolute connection, but wants to connect everything.

I dunno. Maybe it's the weather.

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